What Does This Picture Make You Think Of?

Spring Cleaning/Broadcast Yourself

I don't know what it is about spring that seems to usually get me blogging again. I don't usually receive a lot of traffic on my blog but when I do it's much appreciated. Hopefully in the next few months I can resurrect my blog, gain more traffic on old and new posts, and hear from more of you as well.


I recently posted a funny quote on Facebook that I find to be very true.

It's sad but true. Our vast access to information and technology is making our society, as a whole, BORING. There's a few original people out there but everyone else is merely reposting and uploading original thoughts from the few original people. It's time to blog, to use YouTube for what it was intended for, as well as other parts of the internet. It's time to broadcast yourself; not other people but yourself, your ideas, your art, your criticism, frustrations, poems, thought out essays, your original works. The internet will and should always remain a place to see what others have shared and pass it on but it should begin as a place to share of yourself. So join with me and start to share some original thoughts or even simply elaborated thoughts on issues and topics already out there!

Mashed Potatoes

        Little Billy Fishkins, with buck teeth and a striped shirt, walks carelessly into old man Jenkins backyard. He wraps his greasy fingers around papa apple, ripping him away from his family and friends. Johnny opens his gaping mouth, razor sharp buck teeth ready for the kill. But what becomes of poor mama apple? A few days later old man Jenkins cuts the vein to her life source, throwing her in a bag with other dying apples and throws them all into a truck bed where few will survive. 

In a world where everyone is begging for rights we’re overlooking the ones who deserve it the most; not gays, blacks, whites or even animals, but plants.  Plants are being ripped away from their families by strange men with sickles, machinery, and all sorts of torture devices. Baby carrots are ripped from their mothers, and potatoes can only hide under ground for so long.

How do you create a spud? By dissecting another spud! Poor grandpa spud, his eyes are dissected asunder and then buried. But from the very desire to live, a spud grows forth from one of these eyes creating new life in the field among other spuds. As his cousins grow he too develops in stature, and a leafy green plant is his art. Soon a misty fog gently covers the field like agent orange putting a nation to sleep. With their greenery exposed the taters gasp for air, and slowly the beautiful green leaves wilt and die cutting off all nourishment for the taters. A rumble rolls across the field as this grim machine crushes and flattens anything above the earth. After every living thing appears to be dead and as the field lay waste, little tater still hides safely under ground until the claw. It viciously sneaks underneath the family of taters, no escape to be found. Shaken onto a conveyor belt and dumped into a truck, the little spud lays with all his screaming family members. The cries are so loud he can barely hear, as another conveyor belt spreads them out to be sorted. All the safety of soil is now gone, only shear horror left as the faces roll by deciding who will die and who will live; like families divided in a Nazi concentration camp. 

These are real stories from the lives of real plants. It’s happening in our own backyards. They are forced to grow in tiny army constructed rows never allowed to reach their full growth potential. Many people choose to ignore what happens in plant production. The American public buys plant flesh wrapped in plastic packages that bear little or no resemblance to the sentient creatures they once were. It is often assumed that plants are slaughtered in a clean, orderly process that minimizes stress and pain. But nothing could be further from the truth. Investigations have exposed the fact that plants are routinely dismembered while still fully conscious in U.S. processing plants (HFA's Campaign to Stop Slaughterhouse Abuse).

America needs to realize there are ways to stop plant cruelty, like wearing cruelty-free clothes never made from cotton. Lady Gaga supported this philosophy, wearing a beautifully crafted dress made entirely of meat (Lady Gaga's VMA Meat Dress To Become 'Jerky). Like Lady Gaga we should take after the king of plants, the Venus Fly Trap. “Carnivorous plants live all over the world” and we need to be a part of their enduring legacy (The Mysterious Venus Flytrap).

Perhaps the most important thing about plants, and the biggest reason we should keep them safe and sacred, is they protect us from zombies (Plants vs Zombies Toys Want to Eat Your Money, Not Your Brains). All would do well entertaining gardens in our front or back yards to ward off and eat any zombies that dare approach. We must remember plants are our friends. They can protect us, give us beautiful smells, give us oxygen, life, and love. Such beings must be kept safe in our lives and homes. Eat more chicken! And beef, and pork, and turkey.

Helpful Information About Human Existence

Today after my boyfriend and I had gone to dinner, while driving past the Costco in Ogden I saw a wallet in the road. Strangely enough for a 4 or perhaps its a 6 lane road there were no cars. I slammed on the brakes and said "There was a wallet in the road we have to get it!" He was reluctant but I quickly put the car into reverse and he jumped out and grabbed it out of the road. Yes it's true my very first thought was free money but the second we opened it I knew we had to find this lady; Kelli Nielson. I called my dad letting him know the only thing we could find that would help was an LDS temple recommend. At home we looked up the number to her bishop from the ward on the temple recommend, unfortunately the family doesn't reside there anymore so then came oh so helpful DEX! We found an address for Kelli and her husband. No number was listed but we soon found the number to Kelli's current bishop and eventually her's. She apparently works at Costco and wasn't worried about the wallet yet, figuring she had merely left it at work. Needless to say she was surprised and happy we found it. "You've restored my hope in all humanity!" she said. So as I did my good dead for the while I quite simply want to say that people are not to live alone. Individuals are not meant to live for themselves they are meant to interact, to love, help, support, and engage with one another. This concept is something I love to live in my work place. Not just selling someone popcorn but having what is essentially a spiritual interaction. In our lives we are not mortals that have spiritual experiences but rather spirit beings having a mortal experience. Our life experience is meant to be shared with others whether we know them or not. Me and Kelli Nielson might not have ever met, and quite frankly I won't be home when she picks up the wallet and so perhaps we never will but somehow we shared something; we shared some sort of meaningful interaction. We made a difference in each other's lives; possibly I gave her hope in the world and maybe she taught me that it's worth it to go the extra mile to complete a good dead. Whatever the consequences of this situation the big picture is we as humans and spirit beings will always be interacting with each other. It's how we treat the rest of humanity and the attitude we complete deeds towards humanity that changes or destroys our world. Just don't forget every person you pass by you are lucky enough to walk by...just think about why them?

Beef or Beans?

In the time of the cave men, hunting and gathering was the equivalent of our modern day grocery shopping. Most often women gathered nuts, roots, fruits, and vegetables while the men hunted for meat to sustain their group or family. Meat was vital to life when there weren’t large amounts of plant food available and little to be grown while engaging in the nomadic lifestyle. Nomads and other such travelers weren’t able to grow their own food. Things like squash and other long living vegetables would only last so many months, and food could not be grown while living a wandering lifestyle. Thus cows and other such livestock became domesticated. As these animals followed the tribes they learned to live off the scraps of the people. They became useful in ways such as pulling wagons and eventually as food when none other could be found.

In the times of the nomad, eating meat was necessary and even vital, but what about in our modern day and age? Is it really as necessary as people think? The fact is “Most people throughout world history have eaten a largely vegetarian diet. Only recently, in Europe and North America, where meat and animal products have become affordable, have diets centered around meats become widespread. In other parts of the world, plant-based diets remain more common” (Forks Over Knives). Meat is a quick and easy source of most all of our vital nutrients. It contains calcium, iron, zinc, vitamin B12, vitamin D, and of course protein (Decuypere). Meat is the easy way of getting important minerals in our diets. As a society we have grown so accustom to the western diet where meat is the main dish, and during the height of the drive-through burger joint, people would have never thought twice about their hamburger. Now, however, the research of fast food has shown how much damage we’re really doing to our bodies. Research on meat has also shown relation to crippling medical conditions like diabetes, cancer, heart disease, strokes, and more which keep most American’s in the obesity spectrum or taking countless prescription drugs (Forks Over Knives). Although quick and easy, is meat really the best way to get nutrients? The answer to all these problems is not the latest surgery or the latest pill but something much simpler and less expensive in the long run. What if we could eat ourselves to a healthier life? Vegetarians and vegans say we can. A vegetarian diet is the most adequate health plan.

Many have adopted a whole-foods, plant-based diet. After all it’s not a new idea. Hypocretes taught “Let food by thy medicine,” (Forks Over Knives) and now several doctors have embraced his mantra. Doctors Matthew Lederman, M.D., and Alona Pulde, M.D. are of the few. They aren’t only physicians as they authored the book Keep It Simple, Keep It Whole: Your Guide to Optimum Health, and Founders of Exsalus Health and Wellness Center in Los Angeles, California. They believe the majority of impediments to health stem from a pervasive confusion surrounding the world of health (Our Philosophy). The whole-foods, plant-based diet they instruct is often referred to as a vegan lifestyle. In some circles veganism has acquired a bad name because of individuals not seeking a correct nutritional balance, however:

It is the position of the American Dietetic Association that appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases. Well-planned vegetarian diets are appropriate for individuals during all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence, and for athletes (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

Many people have adopted such diets gaining no nutritional value simply because they are not properly planning their meals. Thus the American Dietetic Association states, “In addition to assessing dietary adequacy, food and nutrition professionals can also play key roles in educating vegetarians about sources of specific nutrients, food purchase and preparation, and dietary modifications to meet their needs” (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets). It is possible and optimum to include vegan customs on your table.

It isn’t as hard to become a vegan as it once was. Vegetarian diets have become some what of a trend and sparked interests worldwide. This increasing interest is advanced by “the emergence of college courses on vegetarian nutrition and on animal rights; the proliferation of Web sites, periodicals, and cookbooks with a vegetarian theme. Restaurants have responded to this interest in vegetarian diets. A survey of chefs found that vegetarian dishes were considered ‘hot’ or ‘a perennial favorite’ ” (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

The new trend of the veggie lifestyle is forwarded by the ever increasing availability of vegetarian food like meat analogs and nondairy milks. The production of soy milk, meat alternatives, cheese substitutes, tofu, vegetarian entrees, and side dishes are forecasted to grow five percent annually. From 2001 to 2008 the market for such products grew from $815 million to $1.4 billion. (Ginsberg). “With so many fortified products available today, the nutritional status of the typical vegetarian today would be expected to be greatly improved from that of a vegetarian 1 to 2 decades ago” (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets). This improvement is largely due to a greater awareness among the vegetarian population of what constitutes as a balanced vegetarian diet. Nutritional differences may explain some of the health advantages of those following a varied, balanced vegetarian diet. (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets). This diet tends to be lower in saturated fats and cholesterol, higher in dietary fibre, antioxidants, and phytochemicals, as well as more fruits, vegetables, and legumes (Hoy).

In an interview with a representative from Yummy Plants, a website supporting vegansim, Dr. Neal Barnard was asked how a vegan diet offers more health gains than a vegetarian diet. “There are several significant health gains for people following a 100% plant-based diet. First, a vegan diet is heart-healthy. Because there is no animal fat, there is no cholesterol. A second advantage is that a vegan diet eliminates casein, the dairy protein which is found in milk. Casein is a common trigger for rheumatoid arthritis and joint pain. People often find that their pain disappears when they refrain from eating dairy products” (Dr. Neal Barnard Discusses the Benefits of a Vegan Diet Yummy Plants).

Similarly, Dr. T. Collin Campbell found documentation of a study in India on casein. A population of experimental rats were given 20% or 5% of casein in their diets while exposed to a cancer causing carcinogen. They were testing the effect of protein on cancer. For the group given the 20% dosage, the equivalent found in meat protein, cancer cell growth was turned on. But as for the group with only 5% amounts, the same as found in plant based proteins, cancer growth turned off. This along with Dr. Campbell’s studies of increased liver cancer in Philippeno children eating animal based foods was a decisive point in his research (Forks Over Knives).

As you can see, unknown to most, there are bad types of protein, but what about the essential proteins:

It is very easy for a vegan diet to meet the recommendations for protein, as long as calorie intake is adequate. Strict protein combining is not necessary; it is more important to eat a varied diet throughout the day. Nearly all vegetables, beans, grains, nuts, and seeds contain some, and often much, protein. Vegans eating varied diets containing vegetables, beans, grains, nuts, and seeds rarely have any difficulty getting enough protein as long as their diet contains enough energy (calories) to maintain weight (Wasserman).

Vegan and vegetarian protein intake are not substantially different from that of non-vegetarians as long as they eat a diverse and organized diet.

Along with the worry about protein are the concerns about iron, zinc, calcium, vitamin D, and vitamin B12. However, all are rectifiable. Iron, for instance, can be better absorbed by involving simple food preparation techniques:

Soaking and sprouting beans, grains, and seeds, and the leavening of bread, can diminish phytate [an iron inhibitor] levels and thereby enhance iron absorption. Vitamin C and other organic acids found in fruits and vegetables can substantially enhance iron absorption and reduce the inhibitory effects of phytate and thereby improve iron status (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

Other inhibitors include calcium, and the polyphenolics in tea, coffee, herb teas, and cocoa. Fiber only slightly inhibits.

The bioavailability of zinc from vegetarian diets is lower than from non-vegetarian diets, mainly due to the higher phytic acid content. Therefore, zinc requirements for some vegetarians whose diets consist mainly of phytate-rich unrefined grains and legumes, may exceed the Recommended Dietary Allowance. Soy products, legumes, grains, and nuts are all zinc sources. Food preparation techniques, such as soaking beans, grains, and seeds as well as leavening bread, can reduce binding of zinc by phytic acid and increase zinc availability. To some extent organic acids, such as citric acid, can also enhance absorption. (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

Vegetarians aren’t as concerned about their calcium as vegans are but either way it is a vital nutrient:

Cruciferous vegetables, like kale, broccoli, and brussels sprouts are great sources of calcium, as are dark, leafy greens. The mighty bean is a calcium source that doesn’t get a lot of attention. Beans are also a good source of magnesium, which helps your body absorb calcium. Just like dairy products, you can find juices and other plant- based foods that are fortified with calcium and vitamin D. This is a great way to make up the difference if you’re not eating enough greens and beans to get the calcium you need (Striepe).

Some vegans, for example, have been reported to have reduced bone mass who did not use vitamin D supplements or fortified foods. Vitamin D has long been known to play a role in bone health. Its status depends on sunlight exposure and intake of vitamin D-fortified foods or supplements like some brands of soy milk, rice milk, orange juice, and some breakfast cereals. If sun exposure and intake of fortified foods are insufficient to meet needs, supplements are recommended (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

B12 is a water-soluble vitamin with a very low recommended daily intake requirement, about 2-3 micrograms per day. Micrograms, not milligrams. However, it “is required for proper red blood cell formation, neurological function, and DNA synthesis” (Dietary Supplement Fact Sheet: Vitamin B12). Stored in the liver, kidneys, and muscle tissue, about 65-75% is reabsorbed by the body instead of excreted. Vitamin B12 is the least of our worries when it comes to a vitamin deficiency. Nonetheless, most sources of B12 are meat or dairy products. Therefore, supplements are advised; especially for vegans. A deficiency of the vitamin would take anywhere from five to twenty years to develop. Although it could be masked by adequate folic acid intake, as the two vitamins work together, but only temporarily. “Eventually a B12 deficiency manifests as nerve damage and pernicious anemia, a very serious type of anemia where red blood cells are improperly formed and white blood cell count is low” (Vegans and the B12 Deficiency Myth). The consequences of deficiency are severe but maintaining an adequate supply of the vitamin minuet. Most vegetarians consume “B12-fortified foods, such as soy and rice beverages, some breakfast cereals and meat analogs, or Red Star Vegetarian Support Formula nutritional yeast; otherwise a daily vitamin B12 supplement is needed” (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

Returning to Dr. Barnard’s interview, his third reason for a vegan diet, “is that the food has a high fiber and vitamin content which helps people who are overweight to drop the extra pounds and lower their blood pressure” (Dr. Neal Barnard Discusses the Benefits of a Vegan Diet Yummy Plants). Dr. Barnard went on to explain that veganism is still right for those already slim and trim. “There’s no need to worry. The weight loss comes from the fat layer so people who are already thin (and lean) won’t lose more weight. A vegan diet does not cause people to lose muscle mass or bone mass” (Dr. Neal Barnard Discusses the Benefits of a Vegan Diet Yummy Plants).

According to the American Dietetic Association:

Well-planned vegan, lacto-vegetarian, and lacto-ovo-vegetarian diets are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy and lactation. Appropriately planned vegan, lacto-vegetarian, and lacto-ovo-vegetarian diets satisfy nutrient needs of infants, children, and adolescents and promote normal growth. Lifelong vegetarians have adult height, weight, and BMIs that are similar to those who became vegetarian later in life, suggesting that well-planned vegetarian diets in infancy and childhood do not affect final adult height or weight. Vegetarian diets in childhood and adolescence can aid in the establishment of lifelong healthful eating patterns and can offer some important nutritional advantages (Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets).

Athlete and olympic taekwondo gold medallist Lauren Burns has been vegetarian since the age of three. She faced opposition before the 2000 Sydney Olympics when nutritionists told her she couldn’t be vegetarian and still meet her food requirements as an athlete. Many of the foods she was eating didn’t fit into their data analysis. They didn’t calculate the benefits of foods like spirulina, seaweed and some of the ancient grains such as spelt, and amaranth (Hoy). Lauren Burns is just one example of a successful, vegetarian athlete. She simply had to work to make sure she was getting all the vitamins and minerals needed. Vegetarianism can work for any person living any lifestyle.

The facts about vegetarian diets are widely unknown. You are able to live a healthy and active lifestyle as a vegetarian. Although it takes more nutritional planning, the benefits are worth it. Meat is an easy way out when it comes to vitamins and minerals. But shouldn’t the connections to meat eating and problems such as heart disease, high cholesterol, and cancer scare us? Well to some it isn’t enough, they simply like the taste of meat, or they see vegetarianism as too extreme. But isn’t heart bypass surgery extreme when you could simply give up a few things in your diet? For those people and all who won’t convert to vegetarianism the next best answer is a gradual shift from meat as the main dish. Eventually our society should transition to meat as a side dish or condiment like our eastern brothers entertain. Even if veganism is not an option to everyone eating meat simply as a side dish will still aid immense health benefits.

A Prank, a Dead Body, and a Funny Ending

Thought you might enjoy this article I stumbled across last night on KSL.

SALT LAKE CITY — A viral prank went wrong for one Arkansas teen when a text she sent was received by an area cop.

The prank had recently been popularized on social media websites such as Twitter and Pinterest. Many of the posts read, "When I'm bored, I send a text to a random number saying, "I hid the body ... now what?'"

The problem for the 15-year-old arose when the random number she chose a belonged to a local police detective. The Rogers, Ak. Police Department used an emergency phone trace and found the girl at home, where she said she had found the idea for the prank via Pinterest.

Police were not amused, saying the prank tied up department resources, but the girl was released with a warning after she and her father were questioned.

Wow, it's stuff like this that doesn't make me proud of my generation. And if you ever watched Cheeper by the Dozen with Steve Martin, "It's funny, but wrong." I remember at a young age my friends texting random numbers. That always freaked me out so I refused to participate. After all who knew the kind of people you might come in contact with. This however is just silly bad luck. But hey I guess it had to happen to someone so there could be that story to make kids think twice. Sure that's funny idea but what if.... Just laugh at the concept of it all and don't do stupid things!

The Moments that Make a Life

Blank. Darkness. You never remember falling asleep do you? No. You only remember waking up. Let’s hope it was a sleep well taken because sleep is the only place I can hide now. Everything is gone.

Beep… beep… beep. I wake up. Head aches, throbbing even... Dark room. Cold air. Smell of chemicals and blood. The voice loud, crushing asks,

“Do you know where you are?”

“A hospital?”

I question, but very sure I know. Although my vision is yellow and fuzzy, what other place would look and feel like this? Only a hospital bed would feel like lying on sheeted straw.

“What day is it?” The voice asks.

“Thursday?” The words come out, but how did I even know the day?

Blank again. Away from the world my spirit hides, preparing me for the life ahead. My mind and soul rests in a place of peace only found by sleep. Even now sleep becomes a gift to my flesh.

I wake up. Dad comes in.

“I have some news. It’s bad….it’s really bad.”

“No. I just want to sleep.”

On June 28^th, 2007 my life changed forever. For just a regular thirteen-year-old girl everything can be taken in a moment. We had gotten the car ready for the drive to Tooele. Our cousins had just moved to Utah two weeks prior. As we drove in this little white, natural gas car of my dad’s I sang along to a CD. I remember it being a Green Day album, but maybe details like that don’t matter on this side of the story.

“I have something to tell you. It can’t wait. Mom and Matthew didn’t make it,” he begins. “And Esther isn’t going to either. Do you want to see her before she dies?”

Heartbeat. “No.”

At least I remember answering no. Later my dad informed me I had said yes. Funny how memories can become distorted, but sometimes memories are the only thing we get to keep, distorted or not. Some obsess over keeping the memories alive; others simply let them fade away, coming and going as they might.

Blank once more. Black. Subconsciously I feel faint sensations on my sleeping skin. Here distance becomes silence. In sleep I am distant from all things, preparing me for the separation of people in my conscious life.

Squeak. I awake. I’m in a wheelchair. A ghost pushes me down the hallway. I would never see this ghost’s face. In my memory of this moment the room looks yellowed and fuzzy, as did the many other scenes played back in my minds eye. There she is, my baby sister, bruised purple eye, stitches down her face, and blankets draping her shoulders. No! Shock, and fear burn my eyes. I might try to describe this feeling to you, but how can I help you comprehend?

Blank. This sleep maybe better be described as simply a state of unconsciousness, unconsciousness of the mind, but not of the soul. These moments changed my soul forever. My spirit would now feel, and see things beyond what most others can. I now live like the superheroes, wrapped in their skin of a secret identity, hiding my biggest secret.

Squeak. I’m lying on a metal bed. I think there’s a mattress underneath my bones, but if there is it doesn’t make much of a difference. I see colorful pictures of butterflies passing by on the ceiling. I imagine sweet children painting those ceiling tiles. Each tile by a child, each child with a story. Perhaps some of them lived and maybe a few of them died, but they all had a story. Ouch! Sharp pain in my chest, and cold metal against my skin.

“Sit as straight as you can.” Where do these voices come from? I hardly ever see a face.

Camera click. No flash. An X-Ray?

Blank. Things are clearer, brighter; much brighter. Sunlight burns the edge of my soul. Silence. It’s as if the earth has awoken, but my mind is on the inside looking out at the world from these broken bones. At the edge of my hospital bed I looked into the eyes of a friend. Still the room of silence lives up to its name. What can I say? It feels like a dream. Don’t speak. If it is a dream, they’ll think I’m crazy. But in the back of my mind, I know it’s real.

How could this happen? Not to me, only to others.

Blank. Even this sleep could be considered a moment. The beautiful thing about moments is they are unrestricted by time constraint or definition. A moment could be one second, one hour, one day, or four months; even a lifetime can be but a small moment. Our life is quite simply made up of moments.

Flowers, posters, and family line the room.

“It smells good in here,” someone mentions.

“I guess I can’t smell the flowers because they’ve been in here the whole time,”

I croak. My voice?

Looking back I only remember thoughts. The words I remember hearing come out my mouth I hardly remember as my own. My memories are as if I was watching and listening to myself from a place across the room.

Ugh. The neck brace is beyond uncomfortable. I can’t remember when I asked, but they said my neck was fine; the brace was just precautionary. What a joke, precautionary discomfort.

“When can I get out of here?” I complain.

“A few days, maybe.”

The next few days don’t mean much, and now I’m home. The silence is deafening. Like a terror it screams in my ears; pain only released in bleeding tears.

I wake to Esther smiling at me. I jump as she flies away with the wind. She really is gone. Dad tells me these illusions are normal, but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m unlike anyone I know now.

Some days I would wish I could vacation to my dreams; a place where we could reunite. We can travel the world using our own invisible wings. If only life could be a dream, one long moment of a dream. Maybe it is.

I’m getting ready for a triple funeral. Pure fear pulses through my heart, my lungs, and my mind. Dead people; they’re still my greatest fear. Irrational isn’t it?

Sitting in a wheelchair hugging and shaking hands, next to the three caskets. I try to hide the scab covering my face. Ugly, but they all know why it’s there. The viewing of my mother is about to begin. I wheel myself out; I would run if my legs were strong enough. Begging my cousin to come with me I shake. She declines. Alone these dark halls terrify me. The church building I attend weekly transforms into the scariest hall I’ve ever passed through. Eerie mortuary people are around every corner. As the caskets are wheeled into the chapel the fear of what’s inside causes me to sit as far away as possible. Tears wet the carpet, but I don’t cry. They said I must have been in shock, but I don’t regret not crying. I just didn’t.

I follow three hearses to the cemetery a mile away. Sitting in the hot sun, huge flowers on top of each casket, we sing a song, then a prayer is said, and we are home again. A terrible vision forever struck in my memory; part of so many of the terrible and beautiful moments of life.

After the funeral I find myself alone. There is family all around me for months, but I’m always on my own. With my younger brother Caleb still in the hospital fighting for life, I’m no longer the priority. Sunk to the bottom I have to find a way out, but pain only abates with time.

So I write; write about the moments of life, the feelings of each moment. Why do we seem to miss the beauty, or the momentum, of the moments of life? How else would we remember life but as moments? We each have enjoyed a moment of emotion while empathizing with a song, or a moment of friendship that lasts two short months or six long years. Everyone has lived through a moment, but how many do we entertain?

Let your soul live in the moments because life isn’t about the journey; it’s about the moments that make up our lives. And maybe this story was only a piece of a moment, the moment of my life…

The Right to An Education

Dear Editor,

It’s disturbing how easily the abstinence-only sex education bill passed Utah legislature. Are they all too naive to realize that when you stop teaching children about safe sex that teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases won’t decrease? The argument from the republican party persists to be that matters of sexual intercourse should be taught in the home. I would have to agree with this argument. The fact is not all children have that privilege and it is juvenile to assume otherwise. Teens, even preteens and children, are being exposed to explicit sexual images from countless forms of media, distorting their views. If they don’t have parents who will clear up false concepts, or clear it up soon enough where will they learn correctly?Schools can offer professional sexual education and still teach abstinence as the best way until marriage. Because, teens are exposed to drugs and sex so profusely they are faced with serious decisions at increasingly younger ages. Although parents should be teaching their children about contraceptives some students would feel more comfortable learning sensitive subjects from trained professionals. For some parents a sex education class has helped facilitate conversations that should happen but for some reason have been delayed. And even when parents teach their teens they often don’t do it soon enough. Adolescents obtain wrong ideas at a young age and never ask otherwise. Unfortunate others will never be taught by parents. Parents and Utah legislation should realize if someone doesn’t teach our students about sex and contraceptives they will never learn correctly leading them to make the biggest mistake of all.

Bibliography

"Eagle Forum Should Pay for Teen Pregancies." Standard-Examiner. Web. 14 Mar. 2012.

"Abstinence-only Sex Education Bill Passes Utah Legislature." Web. 14 Mar. 2012.

Making Memories of Us

Watch the video first :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ-15YIvH5Y&ob=av2e

So I heard this song on the radio the other day driving home. I've heard it before but the lyrics really intrigued me this time and I felt like writing about it. In the chorus Keith says "I'll earn your trust making memories of us". Wow! That just struck me this time because it is so true. Isn't it the people we have memories with that we trust the most. When I date guys I hate it because there's no memories there and making memories can be harder than you think. People are so busy and life never seems to stop. Even people we already have memories with we have a hard time keeping up with. Making memories can be quite the task but it's worth it. The people who you're worth it to take the time to make memories with you; another reason they'd earn your trust. I love how the lyrics say "I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you". That just says you're worth it! You're worth it and I'm gonna make the time to make the memories to earn your trust. So romantic. When he talks about learning from your ma and pa, stealing your attention, and making your world better isn't he talking about memories being made? A memory of dinner with the family, or the cute things he does to get you to laugh and notice him, and the way you look back on so many memories that made your world better than it's ever been. You can follow the rainbow to the ends of the earth and even find the pot of gold. Because when you're in love and making those memories that will build trust and last a lifetime, you live in a world of magic. And when you've been stretched to the limits they're there. They are the one you have the memories with; a bank filled with good memories and love. They are the one to meet you in the life after this with that warm, wet kiss. So I'm gonna love you, like nobody loves you. And I'll win your trust making memories of us....

We Came As Romans

Football is the game of the nation; America’s favorite sport. Fathers and sons are often found on their couches Sunday nights watching the game. Although it may not seem out of the ordinary it might be saying more about our human interests than first meets the eye.

In the days of the ancient Romans games were played and battles were fought, but one game was only amusement to those who watched. The ancient gladiator games were a painful fight. “In ancient Rome, gladiators fought, often to the death, to entertain crowds of spectators. Gladiators were trained in ludi to fight well in circuses (or the Colosseum) where the ground surface was covered with blood-absorbing harena 'sand' (hence, the name 'arena')” (Gill). Today we maintain stadiums much like that of the Romans. Although we abhor the idea of such acute activities of violence, do we still seek after that which satisfies our romance with violence?

The gladiators were slaves, or outcasts, of ancient society. The morals of the time were much lower than those of our day. There was no regard for the value of life. Amongst the excitement of the Roman games was a lunch break which was devoted to executions of criminals who had committed particularly heinous crimes such as murder, arson, and sacrilege (Zograf). Who were the real criminals? Those who watched countless animals, slaves, criminals, and just ordinary people killed, or those criminals who knowingly murdered? Is there a difference between killing someone yourself or watching others fight to the death for entertainment? Some would say there isn’t:

“While our shared beliefs might cause us to balk at gladiator games, Garrett Fagan suggests that the desire for violent entertainment appears not just in the arena—and not just in Rome or America. ‘There’s no shortage of such spectacles,’ he says, pointing to dog fighting, bear-baiting, public executions, and boxing as a few examples among many. ‘Looking across the landscape of history we have to admit there’s something bigger going on, a consistent appetite for violence as spectacle.’ The recent rise of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, a mixed martial arts sport noted for its brutality, strikes Fagan as a prime example.” (Hicks).

So how many parallels are there really between roman games and football?

So many people are against the death penalty and mock in disgust at the stories of ancient times but would they really be so appalled at criminals killing criminals? This is much the way the Romans viewed the gladiators; almost as if they deserved it or at least didn’t deserve better.

Most big games start out with BBQs, picnics, or as football games would call them, tail-gate parties. Just like the Roman’s pre-game feasting our American past times still center around food. After the the excitement and food leading up to the game each team is introduced on the field with huge amounts of excitement. Screaming comes from the crowds, confetti flies around the players, and the game is about to begin.

At the time gladiators were the final act of the games, but preceding the gladiators were animal fights and countless competitions. We can see, as with the ancient games, football is foreshadowed with excitement and other games. The pre-game shows are watched by many, but once the final game has begun the true feasting of the crowd begins.

Even though the rules of football are strict violence often still erupts between players on the field. Perhaps this often strikes us as the most exciting part of a game. When people see accidents on the road are they not looking for bodies, blood, and gore. Football might be considered just as popular a sport as the games, but are spectators really looking for violence?

The Roman games were not just an activity but an event. Spectators would spend the whole day at the arena. Football has adapted into such a sport. The yearly super bowl is just one example of how big an event football has become. Some people camp outside the stadium in tents days before the big game.

Another component of Roman games, or carnivals, were the theatrical performances which seemed to have started at the end of the first Punic War (Gill). Football similarly now accompanies the well known half time show. Wasn’t it interesting that this year’s show, by Madonna, featured the dancers and singer in Roman attire (Limbaugh)?

Football players often wear a type of war paint on their faces; black smudges. Some high school teams even participate in forms of Tongan or Polynesian war dances to start off a game, so is football a form of refereed war? Allegedly:

“Media mogul Ted Turner once called sports ‘war without the killing,’ and, as Fagan sees it, football is rather like gladiatorial combat without the killing. The psychological lure remains much the same, he says. Large-scale sporting events create intense bonds among fans, provoking feelings of belonging, validation and camaraderie. Individuals feel part of a greater whole, and they feel empowered. ‘This is a very powerful emotional experience,’ Fagan says. ‘This is one of the draws that brings people to these mass events. That would be true of Romans as much as modern Americans.’ Fans often come to the stadium simply to feel a part of the crowd—107,000 strong.” (Hicks).

Although people act disgusted when it comes to gladiator games we are still fascinated by it. “Thus we have seen two gladiator box-office smash hits: the 1960 Kirk Douglas Spartacus and the 2000 Russell Crowe Gladiator” (Gill).

Football is just as big if not more popular than the games in ancient Rome showing as humans we still maintain a lust for violence and competition. How many law and order type TV shows have made it big? The number of detective and high crime dramas becoming more popular testifies of our interests. And although we may not be killing or hurting people ourselves some football players suffer lifetime injuries. In an interview with Darrin Chiaverini he mentioned five or six concussions in his career which as a result he still may suffer from headaches. “The long term effects, depending on if you've suffered a lot of different injuries can be debilitating” (Chiaverini).

You may argue that our desire or interest in violence isn’t that big of a problem and the connection to football is too far fetched. Perhaps it is. But our lust after violence isn’t quite the modicum that our society chooses to hide under. It’s shown in our interests in video games; people can not only watch but participate in war games. Football is just one testament of our lifelong relationship with aggression.

Works Cited

Chiaverini, Darrin. "Football- The High Price Of Injuries (Life In The NFL)." Videojug Corporation Limited. Web. 08 Feb. 2012.

Gill, N. S. "Gladiators - Who Were the Roman Gladiators." Ancient / Classical History - Ancient Greece & Rome & Classics Research Guide. About.com. Web. 07 Feb. 2012.

Hicks, Jesse. "Probing Question: Is Football the Gladiator Sport for Modern Americans?”." Research|Penn State Home Page. The Pennsylvania State University, 14 Sept. 2009. Web. 07 Feb. 2012.

Limbaugh, Rush. "Madonna Super Bowl Halftime Show: Popstar Slips, Runs Through Hits And New Single." Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post. Web. 09 Feb. 2012.

.Zograf, Bohdan. "Gladiatorial Games." VROMA :: Home. The College of New Rochelle. Web. 07 Feb. 2012.

My Painful Sanctuary

Sometimes living in the world of death is safer. The emotions there are acceptable and sometimes loosing yourself in a pain can be better than living with it. The week after it all happened I was still floating above earth. Undertakers live in another cosmos; traveling between worlds. It is in these fantasies I often find myself in peaceful solitude. I often imagine the life of a funeral director; a life centered around death. Most view it as a sad engagement, but I would think of it as a perfect reservation for those of us who wish to shadow the world from our eyes. Of course not all of the suits live in such a fashion, however, were it to be the path I chose that would possibly be the reason. Others might distain something as bold as taking refuge at a funeral but you won’t be noticed somewhere where sadness is cardinal. Sadness is my painful sanctuary. Because sometimes the only way to feel alive is to bleed. My tears are as blood and my blood as tears; I can hardly tell the difference anymore. Considering I leave these walls before the sun is up, and arrive long after it has set, the only light I see is from these ticking lamps. I don’t long to bask in the sun like so many others. I like to live in freshness of the dark air, for it is there I feel the essence of the vague. It is here where if I wish it I may go back to that nebulous place I once found refuge. After death this was my souls temple; my treehouse in the clouds. The place after death I still find myself visiting simply because it is impervious; only the pain already contained in it’s walls may be dealt with. So I sit here in my bleeding tears and think. Sadness proliferates within these barriers, but in a curious way I delight in it.

I Must Know Badness Pretty Well

"A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in."
C. S. Lewis

Wow, now that's a relief. I don't have to feel bad that there's so much bad tempting me. I'm not in fact naive while the "bad" kids know more. I know about the strength it takes to be good and I have not in fact been sheltered from the bad.

A wise man once said, it's not dying that we're afraid of; it's being forgotten. How are we living our lives, not to be forgotten? Sometimes it feels good, to be that shadow walking in the rain. No one has to consciously see you, or remember you. Being alone, is easier. The gloomy life, spent working, doing important things, and taking care of your own well being can be so greatly romanticised. Busy city life can seem to fulfill social needs, yet don't require work or attention in more than a few relationships. Some might like the sound of a rigorous work life that improves the world, and then enjoying simplicity, elegance, and ease at home. But if you've thought of an option such as this, who are these people really? What's underneath that no one sees, and they will deny is ever there? Why are they living this life? Perhaps a few of them were alone, or rather felt alone, for so long that in a defense they chose to be alone. For often when we choose something, even something we don't really want, we feel more in control. And isn't that one of life's great challenges; feeling, or mastering our own control. Don't forget childhood dreams. Just don't. Because often who we really are, can be the child we've forgotten. Don't be blinded by the walls your trials have built. Remember who you were, because although you've become stronger there's a good chance that hopeful child still lives inside you.